Karen's Jokes from the Internet
The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants
and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey:
The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names ....
Use the FIRST letter of your FIRST name to determine your NEW firstname:
a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = dorkey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = poopsie
k = flunky
l = booger
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = falafel
u= gidget
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x= skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa
Use the FIRST letter of your LAST name to determine the first half of your NEW
last name:
a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x =tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker
Use the LAST letter of your LAST name to determine the second half of your NEW
last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m =tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u =sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x =humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice
New Dog Breeds
The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:
Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research
scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter
anyway
Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Uh, never mind...
More jokes: From Bill,
Sarah, Barbara, Carolyn,
Tim, Sue, Sandy,
Mish, John,
and even Tom!
