It May or May Not Be Your Day

A Politically-Correct Birthday Greeting

by Janine M. Smith

At last--Today's your Special ¹ Day!

The World ² all stops to shout hooray³ !

We⁴ wish you peace and joy and fun

Today you're the exalted⁵ one.

1 Except where this day is a holiday celebrated by other cultures, or others whose birthday should fall on this day, respecting the effect of the International Dateline.

2 Or, more properly, the portion of the world immediately surrounding you, which may differ significantly in any way from other cities, towns, or countries, all of which are valid and important in their own right.

3 Except persons speaking other languages, who may shout whatever version of "hooray" their specific culture supports.

4 "We" being any who consent to such a wish, not including persons of differing viewpoints who may dissent.

5 Not to imply others may be any less exalted, either today, or on their own birthdays, or any day of their choosing.

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