As you know, Basset Hound Rescue of Southern California is a wonderful organization. Every year they rescue hounds from the pound and find them homes. The Basset Picnic has been going on since the 50's. But now there's another fund raiser: The Basset Hound Spring Games. Patterned after the famous Lebanon, Oregon, Basset Olympics, it's a fun-filled day with hotly-contested events. There are celebrities (Bart, the star of some Maytag commercials, won several events). And this year, for the first time, there were snoods.
You used to see Basset snoods for sale at the dog shows, but we haven't seen any for years. Snoods are tubes of fabric with elastic at both ends. They fit over the dogs' head around their neck and ears, keeping their ears up off the ground. We thought it would be a great fund raiser to sell snoods at the Games. All we needed was someone to make and donate them.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Never mind that I hadn't touched a sewing machine in, um, a lot of years. (In fact, when we found the sewing machine, we found a pair of brown polyester pants my ex had given me to mend about 10 years ago. I would have returned them to him, but I don't think he's that size anymore.) How long could it take to whip up some fabric tubes, after all? Though I did want them to be really nice ones. 100% cotton. Washable. Reversible. I probably could have gotten them done, a few at a time, in a couple of months. Unfortunately, I only had two weeks.
Let me just say, it's a good thing Basset owners are used to public humiliation. After all, when we walk down the street (OK, some of us are waddling), people just look at our dogs and laugh. Try that with someone's kid sometime. Anyway, there I was in the fabric store, buying some fairly hideous hot-pink and lime-green bandana-print fabric. Invariably, someone would lean over and ask, "What are you making." "Mbmstmhtmsm," I'd mumble. "WHAT?" "Basset hats, OK????" I got real sick of explaining the snoods. I'm not sure they believed me anyway. I tell you, it's an uphill fight for dignity when you're a Basset owner.
I got a bunch cut out and was assembling them. Not as quickly as I would have liked. I figured 30, maybe 40 snoods should be enough. Then, a week before the event I heard from Dawn that the sample snood was a big hit at the organizing meeting--everyone wanted one. Oh, and by the way, they were expecting about 200 dogs, maybe more. Back to the sewing machine. I also emailed all my friends for snappy rhymes to put on the sales box. Bill won with "Better snood than nude," and "Ears in your food? You need a snood!" Karen came up with, "I love your snood, Mr. Blackwell cooed." Tim and a disturbing number of my other friends tried to use "lewd", but the Games are a pretty G-rated affair.
Well, sort of. The first event was the Basset Boxer Relay. No, not Boxer dogs, but boxer shorts. They go on the dog with the tail out of the hole, then you run to the other side and put them on the next dog. Bassets do not generally run a lot on a hot day. And they do not enjoy wearing boxer shorts. In fairness, even shortish boxers are too long for some dogs' legs--there's a lot of tripping and stumbling. One dog made his feelings known by biting his owner--for the first time in eight years. Personally, I think the event would be a lot more fun if dogs AND owners had to wear the boxers. Maybe next year.
The Eat Off was much more popular. Fifty dogs got treat bags. You had to take out the specified treat, and any dog who didn't eat it in 10 seconds was disqualified. It started out pretty easy--a hot dog, then a piece of cheese. After the carrot and the broccoli, the field had thinned considerably. After the dill pickle, only two dogs were left. So they found two pieces of turnip--both dogs ate it, but Bart was faster. Another popular event was Best Kisser. Where people actually smeared peanut butter or tuna juice or something on their faces and the dogs licked it off. What bothers me most about this is the image of all these people practicing at home. You know they do.
There were other events, like Longest Ears and Biggest Foot--Miss Hennessy is too delicate for either of those. She turned her nose up at Bobbing for Hot Dogs, though she did demonstrate a few agility obstacles, before coming up against the dreaded teeter-totter, at which point she suddenly had to go do something else. She refuses to wear a snood, and is sick of the whole project. We had to leave a little early, so we missed Synchronized Swimming. Bassets do not as a rule enjoy swimming. The challenge is to get the dog in, across, and out of the wading pool--fastest wins, no pulling. Hennessy's favorite event was lunch. They served hamburgers. She thought that was a wonderful idea.
I delivered 100 snoods, raising $1000 for homeless hounds and resulting in countless clean ears for years to come. I'll make a few more for the picnic in August, then I'm retiring from snood-making. I have to practice smearing tuna juice on my face and dressing the dog in underwear. Oh, and working on that dignity thing, too.
Come to next year's Spring Games in Arcadia Park. For directions and all the details, visit Basset Hound Rescue of Southern California. See you there!
If you would like to make Basset snoods and donate the profits to your local Basset rescue organization, here are some instructions. Good luck, and thank you for helping homeless hounds!
For more Basset events, and all other things Bassety, Miss Hennessy highly recommends The Daily Drool. Yes there is a daily email list. And so much more.
Other Basset stories: Back to School, Psychic Basset, Bowling with Elvis, Da Picnic.
Copyright 1999 by Jzine. Not to be reproduced or distributed without permission
